Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
