I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
