she was so not down for the gang bang
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
