did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
