Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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