So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
