I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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