thus making me awesome and them whores
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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