Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
