Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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