I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
