My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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