Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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