New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize