Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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