Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
