it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
