I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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