My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
