I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
