I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
