they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
