Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
