Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
