I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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