We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
