My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize