I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
