tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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