Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize