no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
