They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
