I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Someone signed my nipple.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
