i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
