exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
