am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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