I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
