I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
