I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize