Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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