you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
