I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize