I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
