can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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