dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
