i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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