that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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