Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
