I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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