Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
