# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
