woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
