can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
