i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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