she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
