I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
