I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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