I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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