Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
