can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
