We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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