Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
