ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
