I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
