Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
