I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
