I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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