Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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