She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
