At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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