My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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