I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
