Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
