I haven't been this sober since birth.
do herpes really smell.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
