Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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