i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
