And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
