It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
