respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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