Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
